Matters Arising

Posts tagged One Minute Play

Jul 20

TONY and BARACK

(TONY, CEO if British Petroleum and  BARACK, POTUS, are on a couch in the White House.  In front of them is a large bottle of scotch).
 
BARACK
I hear you’ve got the well capped.
 
TONY
It would appear that way.
 
BARACK
What does that mean?
 
TONY
Well, by all appearances, it appears that we’ve capped the well.
 
BARACK
So… is it capped or isn’t it?
 
TONY
Oh indeed it is.  Indeed.  The well, as it is, is quite definitely capped.
 
BARACK
And no oil is leaking?
 
TONY
Oh.  Oh…  no…  no…. I didn’t say that…  wait…  are you by any chance referring to the well, per se, as in the well that we drilled, when you ask about oil leaking?
 
BARACK
Of course… what else would I be referring to?
 
TONY
Well – there is the ocean floor itself…   the sea bed itself… for example, around the well.
 
BARACK
Oh.  
 
TONY
Yes.
 
BARACK
So…  you’re saying that there is oil leaking from there?
 
TONY
Me?  No not all… so far I haven’t said anything of the sort.
 
BARACK
I see.
 
TONY
That’s quite a large bottle of fine Scottish whiskey you have there.
 
BARACK
Yes.  Yes it is.
 
TONY
Perhaps we should have some?
 
(The End)


Apr 18

Volcano, Day Two

(JON and SVEN are at a hotel bar)

JON
What if this volcano keeps erupting?

SVEN
Yah, I was thinking about that…  maybe I should take a boat home.

JON
Wow… a boat…

SVEN
Yah…  like in the old days…  when they didn’t have airplanes and things of that nature…

JON
Wow… yah…  like we’d be returning to the old days…  where it took like a week to get to Europe…

SVEN
Yah…  they’d enter by the water, and then take trains, or horses…

JON
Wow.  Yah, trains…   I don’t think we’re back to horses yet…

SVEN
Yah….  but it makes you think…  how good are your trains here in the US?

JON
Not so good.  None of our infrastructure is very good.

SVEN
Yah – but what if you really can’t take airplanes any more?

JON
That would be something.

SVEN
Yah…

JON
I wonder if our missiles would still work.

SVEN
Your missiles?

JON
Yeah…  we have all these intercontinental ballistic missiles…  I wonder how they’d still do if there was all this volcanic ash in the air.

SVEN
Really?  That’s the first thing you think about?  Missiles?

JON
Well… not the first thing…

SVEN
You Americans…

(The End)