George Bush’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2009
1. Move out of White House
2. Send out forwarding address cards. Avoid sending one to Cheney.
3. Make sure liquor bottles are thrown out. And that stash of coke in the panel inside the desk. Get rid of that.
4. Give Condi a good-bye present. If you know what I’m sayin’… and I knowz you do.
5. Write one of them books - Point out casualties in Iraq decreased in 2008, so the surge must have worked. Avoid mentioning casualties are up in Afghanistan. Who goes to Afghanistan anyhowz?)
6. Buy some land up there in Canada, in case this global warming thing turns out to be true.
7. Avoid dad and all of his “I told you so’s”. He can be so annoying.
8. Avoid travel - don’t want to get arrested as a “war criminal.” Crazy international people and their international law.
9. Work on Presidential Library. What is a library for - do people actually go to these things?
10. Check 401K. Consider moving $$ out of Lehman Brothers.
11. Re-Read biography of Herbert Hoover.
12. Write the Obaminator a good-luck note. Haha boyz will he needz it.
