Baseball
(HEATHER and STEPHANIE are sitting in the stands of Yankee Stadium)
HEATHER
Do you think Alex is going to hit his 600th home run tonight?
STEPHANIE
I don’t really care about that. I’m here to see Jeter…
HEATHER
How can you not care? Six hundred home runs is historic.
STEPHANIE
It’s historic for guys who did it without taking steroids. Not for guys who did.
HEATHER
Wow, that’s harsh.
STEPHANIE
It’s like saying a guy who dunks on a five foot basket is doing something great. You can’t cheat and get rewarded.
HEATHER
But plenty of other guys did steroids without being able to hit six hundred home runs.
STEPHANIE
But there are clearly guys who did not take steroids who hit six hundred, and it’s not fair to put any cheaters in the same category. Babe Ruth did not take steroids.
HEATHER
How do you know? Maybe he took something…
STEPHANIE
All he took was hot dogs and beer. They didn’t have steroids in the thirties.
HEATHER
Yeah, that’s true. Same for Willie Mays… he didn’t take steroids.
STEPHANIE
Exactly. So to see Barry Bonds on the top of the all time home run list is an insult to Hank Aaron… and the Babe, and Willie Mays…
HEATHER
How about the Hall of Fame?
STEPHANIE
Maybe we can start a hall of fame for cheaters.
HEATHER
That would be a big hall…
STEPHANIE
Yeah…
HEATHER
So you wouldn’t put any of these guys into the Hall of Fame? Rodriguez, Sosa, McGwire?
STEPHANIE
None of those guys. Keep them out, put in Griffey, Jeter, guys like that…
HEATHER
I never knew you were such a passionate fan.
STEPHANIE
The whole point of baseball is its history. If you can’t compare todays’ guys to former players, the whole thing is a waste of time.
HEATHER
How about in other areas? Like, am I cheating by using electricity, when two hundred years ago they didn’t have electricity?
STEPHANIE
Are you serious?
HEATHER
I’m just asking….
STEPHANIE
I don’t even know how to answer that.
HEATHER
It was just a question.
STEPHANIE
Okay, whatever…
(The End)
